Jealousy

Who is here that never feel jealous to somebody? you? you? *pointing No way, it’s impossible. Everybody must be ever feel jealous. Me too, now I feel jealous to somebody

I first knew her when I was a child. I knew her because she’s a writer. Wow, she was in the same age with me, but she already had her own book. At that time, I really wanted to be a writer too. So, It’s the first time I felt jealous to her. 

Day after day, year after year. I met her again on Twitter, because her tweet been replied by someone that very inspiring to me. Then, I opened her blog and read it. And I realized that she had everything that I want so much. She’s a writer of course, she could taekwondo, she had a happy —very happy— family, she was beautiful but I was more beautiful. And the most important, She looked so close with Allah. Really. She was, like, always dzikir to Allah everytime, and, I don’t know how to say it, but yeah, she looked very close to Him. I feel jealous, very-very jealous. Now she’s in America for student exchange program, that even make me feel more jealous.

Than, more I read her blog, more I realized that, she was not that perfect. She ever made a mistake. She had many negative side too. She is sloppy, she’s an emotional girl, she is too addicted to her idol. She’s not really smart, and the most important is, she also ever felt jealous to someone, just like me. When I read about it, I was very surprised. I thought that she was perfect and had everything, but she felt jealous to someone that she thought better than her in every side.

Then I know, I’ve mastered by a devil of jealousy. When I look to myself, I realized that I already had a happy life. I had a happy family too (well, sometimes I felt angry to them, of course), I had a good score at school, I had really good friends and they loved me, and I had many experienced that maybe she never felt.

And I’m happy with my life.  Really-really happy. We always see the other’s life and then think that OMG-they-have-a-perfect-life-while-my-life-is-suck. We never see our own life and realized that God already give us a great life. We had our own experience and we had our own happines. We supposed feel satisfied with it. And we supposed be grateful to God, to Allah, for give this great life that no one ever had.

So devil of jealousy, GET AWAY FROM ME AND NEVER COME BACK! LET ME FEEL SATISFIED WITH MY OWN LIFE !